


If one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me

by VeronicaFerCard



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fix-It, Immortality, M/M, Minor Character Death, Reincarnation, spoilers for 513
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 03:59:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/857521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeronicaFerCard/pseuds/VeronicaFerCard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eternity, as promising as it sounds, means absolutely nothing if you’re alone. Merlin waited for centuries, only to realize Kilgharrah had gotten it all wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If one day you wake up and find that you’re missing me

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting here, so please leave a comment. :) Also, I shamelessly took the title from a song called The Man Who Can't Be Moved by The Script.

All those movies about people seeking  immortality.

Merlin hated them.

He hated them so much, that if those characters were real, he’d track them down one by one just so that he could laugh at their faces and tell them how naïve they were. Why would you want to live forever? Sure, it must have its advantages, but mostly not and Merlin knew that, he knew the truth. And the truth was, eternity, as promising as it sounded, meant absolutely nothing if you’re alone.

So here he was, centuries later. Still alone, still waiting. He was done waiting. It took Merlin literally forever to realize that Kilgharrah, the cryptic, giant bastard, had been wrong. Last time they met, the dragon had said Merlin and Arthur had achieved their dreams, that Merlin had fulfilled his destiny. But that was the same creature who had said Aithusa was a good sign for Albion, Aithusa who had almost killed Arthur and his knights at Camlann. So much for an adviser. If Kilgharrah was still alive, and well, if he were human, Merlin could easily see him working in one of those magazines that tell your fortune based on the zodiac signs.

Gwen was the one who brought Camelot to its so called golden age. Her first act as a queen regent was to lift the ban on magic, she even went to him on his hovel (he never return to Camelot) and asked if he wanted to be the court sorcerer. Merlin had to say no to her, he couldn’t live in Camelot anymore, not without Arthur, there were just too many memories there. It was too much for him.

He didn’t keep much track of things at court, he didn’t actually care anymore. He sometimes went to the Crystal Cave to see what was going on, it was through the crystals he saw that Gwen took Leon as her consort, it made him happy to see his friends happy, it was trough the crystals he saw that Gaius had passed away, he felt terribly guilt he didn’t say goodbye. But that was that. Eventually he stopped seeing. Eventually everyone aged, everyone died and he didn’t have it in him to care enough to see what had happened after Gwen died without leaving an heir. All he knew was that Camelot became Albion and Albion became the United Kingdom. And apparently the place he lived was now called London.

Another thing that didn’t escape Merlin’s notice (and how could it) was the fact that, as time went by, he didn’t seem to get any older. Of course his body changed along the years but that was only the effects of his work. He got some muscles over the years but not one single white hair. His father solved that puzzle for him. You will always be. Though he didn’t know what that meant at the time.

Over the centuries Merlin learned not get attached to anyone, he found out that fifty, sixty, seventy years were actually nothing, and it all passed in a blink of an eye. People leaved too soon. And somewhere around the 18th century he stopped making any friends at all. He decided that solitude was his best companion.

But there was that light in the end of the tunnel. That little bubble of hope that got him going. Arthur. He was still waiting for his king. Even when Camelot was nothing but a memory, when the trees were replaced by buildings, when royalty became nothing but a title. Kilgharrah was wrong in so many things, but not in that one, no, he couldn’t bear to think the dragon had gotten that wrong, too. Arthur would come back. He had to, he never said goodbye.

But then again, sometimes Merlin wasn’t so sure. There were so many times the land had needed him but the king had never returned. Not even during the times of war, when everyone was in desperate need for a true leader. He didn’t come back.

So Merlin went on, and as time passed his hope begun to fade. And it was only now, in the 21st century, in the year two thousand and… something (he didn’t keep track of time, it was irrelevant to him), when he was starting to think all this waiting was finally managing to kill him, that was when it hit him: Kilgharrah was wrong. All the times the land had needed a strong hand, Merlin always thought that meant Arthur, but Camelot, Albion or the United Kingdom they all survived and grown just fine by themselves, not even Merlin himself had to interfere much. The land didn’t need Arthur.

Merlin did.

He needed his king; he needed him now more than he ever did. And that’s why he knew it in his heart that the time had come. Merlin needed Arthur and he was going to call him back.

The lake of Avalon was still there, as beautiful as it was the last time Merlin saw it, when he sent Arthur to the island. He never had the heart to go back, not until now. He decided to go as Dragoon, because, well, no one would mind much if they saw an old man, probably homeless if one were to judge what he was wearing ( though if asked, he’d say he was trying that hipster thing), talking to a lake. So he stood there, cleared his throat and began.

“I hope you’re not driving Freya mad. I know how you like to boss people around.” Merlin smiled at the memories that came to his mind. “You know, I’ve been an idiot. All this time… I got the prophecies all wrong, I couldn’t save you, and I have lived alone for so long.” His voice shook a little and he took another breath. “The time we had together, I was so worried about our destiny; I put that above my needs… But now I’m gonna be selfish, I thought I was okay being just your servent – that doesn’t exist anymore, by the way, so, when you come back, don’t even think.” He shook his head. “Anyway, I thought I was fine being just your friend. But now I want more Arthur, I want you. I want to be – as my mom so lovely put it – the other side to your coin.” Merlin made a disbelieve sound. “Does that even make sense to you? It means soul mate; I want to be your soul mate, Arthur. To be honest I think I already am. I-I not sure how it works.” He shrugged. “Guess we’ll have to find out together. All I know is that I’m done with the platonic thing, and I’m done waiting so if you could come back, if you could come back now… Please, I need you.” He said the last part in a whisper as if he had used all of his strength in that speech.

Merlin didn’t know what else to say, he was pacing back and forth, his head down, lost inside of his own mind. That’s why he only saw the man in front of him when they bumped into each other. The man had an iPhone in his hands, the mobile almost felt to the ground but Merlin managed to grab it, using his reflex and a little bit of magic.

“Hey, look where you going-”

“Sorry-”

They said at the same time.

“Here” Merlin offered the mobile, but as he straight up, his eyes went up the man’s body until they reached his face and oh-

From all the ways he had imagined for Arthur to come back, black suit and red tie was not among them. He still looked the same though. Merlin didn’t know how the whole reincarnation thing worked, but sure the golden hair, bright blue eyes and strong jaw line were all there.

Merlin didn’t know what to say, but then their fingers brushed when Arthur went for his phone, it felt like a joint of electricity went through them and for the first time since their little encounter Arthur looked right into his eyes. He offered Merlin a confuse smile.

“Do I know you?”


End file.
